The Dreamer: Hope is never on short supply for this fellow. Even if his teams jet (with all the players inside) fell into a bottomless pit and have an estimated 1 year get-out-of-pit time, he'll still believe. This guy heads into the season thinking the Isiah Thomas run Knicks will not only make the playoffs, they will win the championship. He's so oblivious to reality that he will sit there, stare you right in the eyes and say "The Knicks are going all the way", without the slightest hint of him joking. That's because he's not. He's insane.
The Band wagoner: As soon as a team/player has a breakout season/moment you can bet your bottom dollar that Band wagoner will be there rooting for them. These dirty smug characters will change their myspace skins to that of Baron Davis as soon as he helps complete a huge upset against the Dallas Mavericks. Then, only a season later, he will constantly tell you how the Boston Celtics are the equivalent of the 1990's bulls. He'll wear his KG jersey everywhere he goes. Yes, that includes funerals. As soon as the Celtics get beaten twice by the Hawks, he'll tell you how he thinks the hawks are on their way to becoming the second coming of the 1990's bulls. He'll even tattoo their logo on his face, only to remove it a week later upon the hawks elimination. In which case, he will tell you how Chris Paul is the second coming of God for destroying the Spurs in game 1 and 2.
The Thinker: This guy finds meanings within the comments of announcers that you'd never think possible. For example, an announcer might say, "Since Kenyon Martin has been out of the game Kobe Bryant has lit up the Denver Nuggets". With no prior knowledge of Kenyon Martin or Kobe Bryant one might assume that Kenyon Martin is a good defender. That's the astonishing part. The Thinker has prior knowledge of everything, he just interprets it in an unbelievable way. That same announcer sentence would have The Thinker immediately classify Kenyon Martin as one of the best defenders in the NBA, and store it in his brain for life. You could be sitting their and say, "boy, James Posey might be one of the best defenders in the NBA" The Thinker will reply with "Yeah, so is Kenyon martin". Another quality of the thinker is a lack of acceptance to new data. If the Celtics limit Lebron James to 20% shooting for one game, The Thinker will always claim that the Celtics always lock-down Lebron. Lebron scoring 40 two games straight, or 100, will not change the thinkers stance. Nothing will. Not even brutal torture. Eventually the thinkers constant trips out of reality will result in him being alienated from your basketball group, until the season passes that is.
Your Archenemies: This particular guy always pisses you off. You'll talk about how you're glad your teams looking like they will
The guy who just wants
The Stat Cruncher: Its quite possible that every single basketball related stat is memorized in this guys brain. He'll have complete confidence in his predictions, and bombard you with stats when you oppose his prediction. He'll tell you that the combination of Kobe only averaging 25 ppg on 3 days rest and Kevin Martin having his best games off 1 days rest will result in the kings smashing the Lakers. He'll tell you that Tuesdays the day that Darko goes from a waste of a lottery pick to a decent 12 points 10 rebounds performer, and that will be the X factor that gets the grizzlies past the bobcats. Avoid having one of these friends.
Well, there you have it. A pretty well rounded description of what I will be putting up with until the NBA finals are over in June 09.
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