Game: All of them.
Terror Maker: Multiple Offenders
Offense: Multiple Offenders
Target: Everyone
Christmas 08 was probably the best collection of Christmas games in a long time. And by best collection, I really just mean the Laker-Celtic game was absolutely awesome. From the get go it felt like a playoff game, making for great entertainment. The other games weren't all that bad either. A few things to note from each game:
Orlando/New Orleans: As great as Chris Paul is, he can't lead the Hornets anywhere if he has no one to pass the ball too. And it wouldn't kill to get a bench either. Seriously, Devin Brown as the go to guy of a 2nd unit isn't exactly a formula for success. And with that said, it was no surprise that the Magic absolutely crushed the hornets.
San Antonio/Phoenix: I was ready to talk about how Amare choked on three consecutive possessions int he final two minutes. Blowing easy layup after easy layup, until Grant hill got the screen from Nash and seemingly won the game. Really ruined my day. Well, it would have if it was a team not named the Spurs. Yet again a last second shot/play/miracle/hip check/suspension put a dagger in the heart of Suns fans everywhere. The game seemed pretty much over until Tony Parker found Mason for a three in the corner. This game proved yet again that the suns can't beat the spurs at there own game, and that Steve Kerr is a douche.
Lakers/Celtics: With Posey departure and Bynum+Ariza's return, the Lakers seem to have gained a bit of an advantage in match ups when it comes to versing the Celtics. In the Finals, Leon Poe pretty much dominated the Laker bench. Yesterday he was a non factor going up against Bynum when both teams went to reserves. And without Posey, no one was able to throw off Kobe Bryant by much. Combine all of that with Ariza's amazing hustle play and the Lakers were able to walk away with a 9 point victory. Although the game was a lot closer than the final score would suggest. All game i was complaining of Pau Gasol being, well, Gasoft. It wasn't until he scored 7 points and blocked ray Allen's three that the game was finally sealed for the Lakers.
On a side note, whats up with Mike Breen calling the Celtic Bench a bunch of "scrubs"? Seems kinda harsh.
Cleveland/Washington: Pure B-S. With Mike James having an amazing game, the wizards were poised to walk away with a win on the Cavs home floor. That is, until the refs decided otherwise. With 1 minute and 30 seconds to go, a foul was called on Butler for barely grazing "King James" on the elbow. It just so happened to be a 3 pointer with the Cavs down 5. So Lebron hits three free throws. Followed by Jamison being called for a charge when Wallace was clearly moving his feet while Jamison had already taken off. So the wizards lose a possession and it leads to a Mo Williams three. Awesome. After that the Cavs pretty much sealed the deal. Which is exactly what a 24-4 team would do against a 4-22 team. But is it really fair for Refs to hand the game away when the wizards were outplaying them for 46.5 minutes? No, its not. Especially when other matches are allowed to be played more physically. Inconsistency just makes David Sterns NBA look rigged.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Vince Carter, Terrorizing the NBA on 11/21/08
Game: Nj Nets vs Toronto Raptors
Date: 11/15/08
Terror-maker: Vince Carter
Offense: Causing emotional trauma
Target: Toronto Raptor Fans
With the Raptors up by 7 with two minutes to go, I was pretty sure the game was over. The nets naturally kept dumping the ball into Vince Carters hands, and Vince went and made a couple of shots in a row. Then he made a few more. All of a sudden the nets were down 2 with only a couple seconds remaining and Anthony Parker at the line. Naturally Parker missed the first free throw. Parker=Douche. I had him on my fantasy's team for a few weeks, and saying he sucked ass would be an understatement. Anyway, so the leads at 3 with .8 seconds remaining. I tell my bud "wouldn't it be something if Vince made a three right now?". Sure enough Vince came through with a shocking three from deep. That capped 12 points in a row by Vince. To make matters worse, after a flurry of three's by bosh, Hayes, and Parker the game was tied near the end of OT. With 2 seconds to go, Vince ends the game with a reverse dunk off an inbounds pass from Bobby Simmons. Man, that was one hell of an entertaining game. But most importantly, it ruined the day of raptor fans everywhere. Vince Carter, who's often accused of not giving it his all, reverted back to his days of Vincesanity to take a seemingly wrapped up game out of the hands of the raptors and send theem to a devastating loss.
Date: 11/15/08
Terror-maker: Vince Carter
Offense: Causing emotional trauma
Target: Toronto Raptor Fans
With the Raptors up by 7 with two minutes to go, I was pretty sure the game was over. The nets naturally kept dumping the ball into Vince Carters hands, and Vince went and made a couple of shots in a row. Then he made a few more. All of a sudden the nets were down 2 with only a couple seconds remaining and Anthony Parker at the line. Naturally Parker missed the first free throw. Parker=Douche. I had him on my fantasy's team for a few weeks, and saying he sucked ass would be an understatement. Anyway, so the leads at 3 with .8 seconds remaining. I tell my bud "wouldn't it be something if Vince made a three right now?". Sure enough Vince came through with a shocking three from deep. That capped 12 points in a row by Vince. To make matters worse, after a flurry of three's by bosh, Hayes, and Parker the game was tied near the end of OT. With 2 seconds to go, Vince ends the game with a reverse dunk off an inbounds pass from Bobby Simmons. Man, that was one hell of an entertaining game. But most importantly, it ruined the day of raptor fans everywhere. Vince Carter, who's often accused of not giving it his all, reverted back to his days of Vincesanity to take a seemingly wrapped up game out of the hands of the raptors and send theem to a devastating loss.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Nj Nets Announcers, Terrorizing the NBA on 11/15/08
Game: NJ Nets vs Atlanta Hawks
Date: 11/15/08
Terror-maker: Both NJ Nets announcers
Offense: "Bring out the biscuits its T-time!"
Target: All living beings with functional hearing senses.
Around the third quarter of the Nets-hawks game, Joe Johnson got hit with a technical foul for arguing with a ref. About a few seconds after that the hawks coach got hit with a tech as well. This prompted one of the announcers (I can't tell them apart, both sound like douche's) to say "BRING OUT THE BISCUITS, ITS TEA TIME!". Apparently its supposed to be funny because people were getting hit with "t's", which sounds like "tea". And some people eat biscuits with tea. So ha ha. Its a joke. I was too busy dealing with the pain of my ear drums exploding to find it funny at the time. Either that or it was a stupid joke.
Date: 11/15/08
Terror-maker: Both NJ Nets announcers
Offense: "Bring out the biscuits its T-time!"
Target: All living beings with functional hearing senses.
Around the third quarter of the Nets-hawks game, Joe Johnson got hit with a technical foul for arguing with a ref. About a few seconds after that the hawks coach got hit with a tech as well. This prompted one of the announcers (I can't tell them apart, both sound like douche's) to say "BRING OUT THE BISCUITS, ITS TEA TIME!". Apparently its supposed to be funny because people were getting hit with "t's", which sounds like "tea". And some people eat biscuits with tea. So ha ha. Its a joke. I was too busy dealing with the pain of my ear drums exploding to find it funny at the time. Either that or it was a stupid joke.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Derek Fisher, Terrorizing the NBA on 11/14/08
Game: Los Angeles Lakers vs Detriot Pistons
Date: 11/14/08
Terror-maker: Derek Fisher
Offense: Shooting 4/16
Target: The Los Angeles Lakers
I could have chosen Kwame Brown as the number one offender on November the 14th, as he completely out played both Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol. Seriously. Kwame Brown. But no, what Derek Fisher did is far more criminal than Pau getting shut down by Kwame. Fisher came into the game shooting 36% from the field, and then he goes and chucks up 16 shots. Its one thing to shoot when your team has a comfortable lead, giving yourself a chance to find your groove without screwing everyone over. Its another thing to shoot deep 2's on a fast break while your teams trying to fight back from a double digit deficit. Every time he brought the ball up the court he chucked up a shot. Although he had 0 turnovers, he missed 12 shots. Had someone else taken those twelve shots and say hit six of them, the Lakers would have had a realistic chance at winning. The guy is taking 10.8 shots a game and hitting on average 3.8 of them. That's as efficient as an old lady using an entire shopping cart just to check out a pack of gum. I don't get why old ladies have to use a shopping cart for everything. Don't they realize it congest the check-out lines? Anyway, I know Derek fisher is a great locker room leader, but on the court he's well, trigger happy. Trigger happy+ 30% shooting=fail.
Date: 11/14/08
Terror-maker: Derek Fisher
Offense: Shooting 4/16
Target: The Los Angeles Lakers
I could have chosen Kwame Brown as the number one offender on November the 14th, as he completely out played both Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol. Seriously. Kwame Brown. But no, what Derek Fisher did is far more criminal than Pau getting shut down by Kwame. Fisher came into the game shooting 36% from the field, and then he goes and chucks up 16 shots. Its one thing to shoot when your team has a comfortable lead, giving yourself a chance to find your groove without screwing everyone over. Its another thing to shoot deep 2's on a fast break while your teams trying to fight back from a double digit deficit. Every time he brought the ball up the court he chucked up a shot. Although he had 0 turnovers, he missed 12 shots. Had someone else taken those twelve shots and say hit six of them, the Lakers would have had a realistic chance at winning. The guy is taking 10.8 shots a game and hitting on average 3.8 of them. That's as efficient as an old lady using an entire shopping cart just to check out a pack of gum. I don't get why old ladies have to use a shopping cart for everything. Don't they realize it congest the check-out lines? Anyway, I know Derek fisher is a great locker room leader, but on the court he's well, trigger happy. Trigger happy+ 30% shooting=fail.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Stephon Marbury: Staying Sane
The Stephon Marbury saga, spanning from 03-04 to 07-08 looks like it will finally come to and end. During that period of time we've been treated to many highly entertaining Steph moments. Such as:
1. Showing up to Mike'd up on pcp. Hilarity ensues.
2. Talking about preparing for the upcoming NBA season by running in the mountains.
3. Claiming he has dirt on Isiah.
4. Running Larry Brown out of town while simultaneously running the Knicks into the ground.
5. Doing things in vans to interns.
6. Acting flat out crazy.
The list goes on and on. Unfortunately for some, it seems as if Stephon has finally learned how to control his insanity. When Mike D'antoni decided to bench Stephon, the media decided to blow up the story. Stephon has been pressed about how he feels about the situation, asked the same questions over and over, and yet, the media still hasn't gotten the flat out insane response its been dying for. The same people who helped Stephon look like a maniac, are now going insane waiting for him to crack.
Instead monitoring Stephon round the clock, what the media should really be doing is pressing hardcore gangster Tony Battie. During the Bulls vs Magic game, it came very apparent that my new hero, Andres Nocioni, was pissing off everyone on the Magic. He kicked Rashard Lewis in the groin, landed a hard foul on Keyon Dooling, Dwight Howard and Hedo Turkowhatever. Each of them tried to do their ego's justice by "stepping up" to Andres, who simply smiled and laughed. Clearly Andres was just playing the game with toughness, while the pansy's on the magic took it personally. Of course, Tony Battie would have none of this. After Andres drove in on Rashard hit the lay up and got an opportunity for a three point play, Andres let out a huge roar. Tony Battie realized his groups gangsterness was on the line, so what does he do? He approaches Andres, bumps him, and mumbles something. Andres flat out ignored him and walked to the free throw line. Bravery at its finest. Battie looks like an over sized Orc, and Orcs are generally big i assume. Furthermore, Tony Battie is shooting 36% and averaging 2 points per game. The dudes 6'11. Whys he playing so bad you ask? Cause' he's busy running the hood for the magic. He has no time for "basketball". If I were the media, i'd focus more on this shady character Battie and what he does "off the court". Waiting for Stephon to revert to insanity is just a waste of time.
1. Showing up to Mike'd up on pcp. Hilarity ensues.
2. Talking about preparing for the upcoming NBA season by running in the mountains.
3. Claiming he has dirt on Isiah.
4. Running Larry Brown out of town while simultaneously running the Knicks into the ground.
5. Doing things in vans to interns.
6. Acting flat out crazy.
The list goes on and on. Unfortunately for some, it seems as if Stephon has finally learned how to control his insanity. When Mike D'antoni decided to bench Stephon, the media decided to blow up the story. Stephon has been pressed about how he feels about the situation, asked the same questions over and over, and yet, the media still hasn't gotten the flat out insane response its been dying for. The same people who helped Stephon look like a maniac, are now going insane waiting for him to crack.
Instead monitoring Stephon round the clock, what the media should really be doing is pressing hardcore gangster Tony Battie. During the Bulls vs Magic game, it came very apparent that my new hero, Andres Nocioni, was pissing off everyone on the Magic. He kicked Rashard Lewis in the groin, landed a hard foul on Keyon Dooling, Dwight Howard and Hedo Turkowhatever. Each of them tried to do their ego's justice by "stepping up" to Andres, who simply smiled and laughed. Clearly Andres was just playing the game with toughness, while the pansy's on the magic took it personally. Of course, Tony Battie would have none of this. After Andres drove in on Rashard hit the lay up and got an opportunity for a three point play, Andres let out a huge roar. Tony Battie realized his groups gangsterness was on the line, so what does he do? He approaches Andres, bumps him, and mumbles something. Andres flat out ignored him and walked to the free throw line. Bravery at its finest. Battie looks like an over sized Orc, and Orcs are generally big i assume. Furthermore, Tony Battie is shooting 36% and averaging 2 points per game. The dudes 6'11. Whys he playing so bad you ask? Cause' he's busy running the hood for the magic. He has no time for "basketball". If I were the media, i'd focus more on this shady character Battie and what he does "off the court". Waiting for Stephon to revert to insanity is just a waste of time.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
A New Breed of Tennis Evil
Public Tennis courts are bad enough as it is. Cracks in the court, grass growing in cement and nets that are half torn are only some of the problems encountered at these courts. Usually you can have a good time playing tennis regardless of these issues. But there is one problem that pushes the annoyance of public tennis courts over the edge.
Kindergarten Tennis Teachers
They show up at the court right next to yours. They bring about one hundred tennis balls, and ten very hyper five year old tennis players. The result? A pissed off you.
Its very difficult enjoying a game of Two on Two when you have countless numbers of tennis balls landing in the middle of your court. Eventually you get tired of keeping track on who's ball is whose, and you just pick one up and serve. You try your best to enjoy the game even though your blue court has suddenly turned green due to all of the badly hit shots flying your way. And then you realize, you just can't. Kindergarten Tennis Teachers ruin everyones fun. In fact, the majority of them don't Even know what they're teaching. The only thing they're good at is telling them to form even rows and to stop hitting each other over the head with the rackets. Way to take out the fun from Kindergarten Tennis.
After one kid lost grip on his racket launched it towards us and nearly took off my head, it was time to go. We decided to take every tennis ball on our court out of spite. In response to this, the kindergarten teacher yells out "THE ONES WITH THE BLACK DOTS ARE OURS". In response to that, I smirked and kept putting the tennis balls in our basket. Although we won the battle, we still lost the war. Its time to relocate to new courts.
Kindergarten Tennis Teachers
They show up at the court right next to yours. They bring about one hundred tennis balls, and ten very hyper five year old tennis players. The result? A pissed off you.
Its very difficult enjoying a game of Two on Two when you have countless numbers of tennis balls landing in the middle of your court. Eventually you get tired of keeping track on who's ball is whose, and you just pick one up and serve. You try your best to enjoy the game even though your blue court has suddenly turned green due to all of the badly hit shots flying your way. And then you realize, you just can't. Kindergarten Tennis Teachers ruin everyones fun. In fact, the majority of them don't Even know what they're teaching. The only thing they're good at is telling them to form even rows and to stop hitting each other over the head with the rackets. Way to take out the fun from Kindergarten Tennis.
After one kid lost grip on his racket launched it towards us and nearly took off my head, it was time to go. We decided to take every tennis ball on our court out of spite. In response to this, the kindergarten teacher yells out "THE ONES WITH THE BLACK DOTS ARE OURS". In response to that, I smirked and kept putting the tennis balls in our basket. Although we won the battle, we still lost the war. Its time to relocate to new courts.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Your Basketball Friends
The 2008/2009 NBA season is almost here. And you know what that means. That's right, another year of arguing with your friends about who'll win what, who'll beat who, and why your team is only one short winning streak away from establishing themselves as the inevitable NBA champ. To some people, all the arguing and bickering might be tiring, annoying and childish. To that I say: What would following the NBA be like without it? Honestly, if you can't afford to sit court side at every game, what purpose is there in following the NBA? When your team wins, you don't get a ring. You don't get paid. The only thing you get, is the satisfaction of being right when your friends are wrong. Of course with all the personalities you deal with, you tend to realize that they all have certain thinking patterns. One friend always thinks team A is one player away from dominating their conference, one friend thinks Team B is the second coming of the mid 90's bulls, one guy is an all out band wagoner. These following generic personalities can probably be found in every group of NBA following buddies:
The Dreamer: Hope is never on short supply for this fellow. Even if his teams jet (with all the players inside) fell into a bottomless pit and have an estimated 1 year get-out-of-pit time, he'll still believe. This guy heads into the season thinking the Isiah Thomas run Knicks will not only make the playoffs, they will win the championship. He's so oblivious to reality that he will sit there, stare you right in the eyes and say "The Knicks are going all the way", without the slightest hint of him joking. That's because he's not. He's insane.
The Band wagoner: As soon as a team/player has a breakout season/moment you can bet your bottom dollar that Band wagoner will be there rooting for them. These dirty smug characters will change their myspace skins to that of Baron Davis as soon as he helps complete a huge upset against the Dallas Mavericks. Then, only a season later, he will constantly tell you how the Boston Celtics are the equivalent of the 1990's bulls. He'll wear his KG jersey everywhere he goes. Yes, that includes funerals. As soon as the Celtics get beaten twice by the Hawks, he'll tell you how he thinks the hawks are on their way to becoming the second coming of the 1990's bulls. He'll even tattoo their logo on his face, only to remove it a week later upon the hawks elimination. In which case, he will tell you how Chris Paul is the second coming of God for destroying the Spurs in game 1 and 2.
The Thinker: This guy finds meanings within the comments of announcers that you'd never think possible. For example, an announcer might say, "Since Kenyon Martin has been out of the game Kobe Bryant has lit up the Denver Nuggets". With no prior knowledge of Kenyon Martin or Kobe Bryant one might assume that Kenyon Martin is a good defender. That's the astonishing part. The Thinker has prior knowledge of everything, he just interprets it in an unbelievable way. That same announcer sentence would have The Thinker immediately classify Kenyon Martin as one of the best defenders in the NBA, and store it in his brain for life. You could be sitting their and say, "boy, James Posey might be one of the best defenders in the NBA" The Thinker will reply with "Yeah, so is Kenyon martin". Another quality of the thinker is a lack of acceptance to new data. If the Celtics limit Lebron James to 20% shooting for one game, The Thinker will always claim that the Celtics always lock-down Lebron. Lebron scoring 40 two games straight, or 100, will not change the thinkers stance. Nothing will. Not even brutal torture. Eventually the thinkers constant trips out of reality will result in him being alienated from your basketball group, until the season passes that is.
Your Archenemies: This particular guy always pisses you off. You'll talk about how you're glad your teams looking like they will, Archenemies will tell you how it seems like a long shot. And when he's right, he'll make sure to remind you. But when he's wrong, he will simply doubt the next step following whatever achievement your team accomplished. Made the playoffs? You won't make it past round one. Made the western finals? You wont get any further. Made the finals? Yeah that's all you'll make. Won the finals? Yeah enjoy it cause it will never happen again. Its possible that this guy is just extremely cynical. Or maybe he just likes pissing you off.
The guy who just wants player X to win a ring: This guy loves the NBA, but doesn't love a team in particular. He just wants guys to win rings. In fact, if it was up to him, there wouldn't be one NBA champion. There would be thirty. Since that's impossible they usually root for whoever they feel is due for a ring. These players include but are not limited too: Allen Iverson, Steve Nash, Grant Hill and Tracy Mcgrady. Last year, the common "just want him to win a ring" player everyone was rooting for was KG.
The Stat Cruncher: Its quite possible that every single basketball related stat is memorized in this guys brain. He'll have complete confidence in his predictions, and bombard you with stats when you oppose his prediction. He'll tell you that the combination of Kobe only averaging 25 ppg on 3 days rest and Kevin Martin having his best games off 1 days rest will result in the kings smashing the Lakers. He'll tell you that Tuesdays the day that Darko goes from a waste of a lottery pick to a decent 12 points 10 rebounds performer, and that will be the X factor that gets the grizzlies past the bobcats. Avoid having one of these friends.
Well, there you have it. A pretty well rounded description of what I will be putting up with until the NBA finals are over in June 09.
The Dreamer: Hope is never on short supply for this fellow. Even if his teams jet (with all the players inside) fell into a bottomless pit and have an estimated 1 year get-out-of-pit time, he'll still believe. This guy heads into the season thinking the Isiah Thomas run Knicks will not only make the playoffs, they will win the championship. He's so oblivious to reality that he will sit there, stare you right in the eyes and say "The Knicks are going all the way", without the slightest hint of him joking. That's because he's not. He's insane.
The Band wagoner: As soon as a team/player has a breakout season/moment you can bet your bottom dollar that Band wagoner will be there rooting for them. These dirty smug characters will change their myspace skins to that of Baron Davis as soon as he helps complete a huge upset against the Dallas Mavericks. Then, only a season later, he will constantly tell you how the Boston Celtics are the equivalent of the 1990's bulls. He'll wear his KG jersey everywhere he goes. Yes, that includes funerals. As soon as the Celtics get beaten twice by the Hawks, he'll tell you how he thinks the hawks are on their way to becoming the second coming of the 1990's bulls. He'll even tattoo their logo on his face, only to remove it a week later upon the hawks elimination. In which case, he will tell you how Chris Paul is the second coming of God for destroying the Spurs in game 1 and 2.
The Thinker: This guy finds meanings within the comments of announcers that you'd never think possible. For example, an announcer might say, "Since Kenyon Martin has been out of the game Kobe Bryant has lit up the Denver Nuggets". With no prior knowledge of Kenyon Martin or Kobe Bryant one might assume that Kenyon Martin is a good defender. That's the astonishing part. The Thinker has prior knowledge of everything, he just interprets it in an unbelievable way. That same announcer sentence would have The Thinker immediately classify Kenyon Martin as one of the best defenders in the NBA, and store it in his brain for life. You could be sitting their and say, "boy, James Posey might be one of the best defenders in the NBA" The Thinker will reply with "Yeah, so is Kenyon martin". Another quality of the thinker is a lack of acceptance to new data. If the Celtics limit Lebron James to 20% shooting for one game, The Thinker will always claim that the Celtics always lock-down Lebron. Lebron scoring 40 two games straight, or 100, will not change the thinkers stance. Nothing will. Not even brutal torture. Eventually the thinkers constant trips out of reality will result in him being alienated from your basketball group, until the season passes that is.
Your Archenemies: This particular guy always pisses you off. You'll talk about how you're glad your teams looking like they will
The guy who just wants
The Stat Cruncher: Its quite possible that every single basketball related stat is memorized in this guys brain. He'll have complete confidence in his predictions, and bombard you with stats when you oppose his prediction. He'll tell you that the combination of Kobe only averaging 25 ppg on 3 days rest and Kevin Martin having his best games off 1 days rest will result in the kings smashing the Lakers. He'll tell you that Tuesdays the day that Darko goes from a waste of a lottery pick to a decent 12 points 10 rebounds performer, and that will be the X factor that gets the grizzlies past the bobcats. Avoid having one of these friends.
Well, there you have it. A pretty well rounded description of what I will be putting up with until the NBA finals are over in June 09.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
My Entire Team...
You know, after the Mets made it to the National League championship game I was pretty certain the days of them being a futurama punchline were over. As it turns out, that was far from the case. Following that great year, the Mets put on the biggest September collapse in baseball history. And this year, yet again, the Mets have collapsed in September. Unlike last year, they had a chance to win the Wild Card. They didn't even have to fight against the big bad bully who always spoils their parties, the Phillies. No, they just had to hold off the brewers. The brewers are probably the only team in the MLB more mentally fragile than the Mets. And yet, they couldn't even do that.
Mentally fragile. Psychologically unstable. Not tough enough. No sense of urgency. Confused. These all describe the 07/08 Mets pretty well. But why? What in the world can make a team so mentally weak that they can't even handle the pressure of winning 1 extra game a season to make the playoffs? I'll tell you what it is.
My Entire Team Sucks
Clearly the whole M-E-T-S thing is shaking up the players subconsciously. So much so, that its safe to say the Mets will never win until they either change their name or ship out this pansy of a player core they got. Some of you might point out the 86 Mets, and claim that if they could do it so can these current Mets. No. The 86 Mets were so bad ass that they transcended the curse of the M-E-T-S. In fact, if anyone even tried passing that M-E-T-S crap on a member of the 86 Mets, its safe to say their shit would be promptly ruined. Now as we all know the 08 Mets are a bunch of Pansy's. The only solution for them is to have the teams name changed until they get some tough players. I even have a few suggestions.
#1. The Animal Abusers- This ones particularly good because it would scare the lights out of the Cubs, Cardinals, Marlins, Blue Jays, Orioles, etc. I mean seriously, if you were a mere baby Cub going up against the ANIMAL ABUSERS wouldn't you forfeit the game? Yeah you would.
#2. The Champs- If you're already the champs, everyone else will bow down.
#3. Armageddon- You're sitting their at your kitchen table, having your morning cup of coffee. You open the news paper, and notice that Armageddon is coming to town to play your home team. I don't know about you, but I'd run for my life.
Quite frankly, I don't see how anyone can call a team with those names "psychologically fragile". So dear Mets, please change your name. Ridiculous you say?
So is collapsing two years in a row.
Mentally fragile. Psychologically unstable. Not tough enough. No sense of urgency. Confused. These all describe the 07/08 Mets pretty well. But why? What in the world can make a team so mentally weak that they can't even handle the pressure of winning 1 extra game a season to make the playoffs? I'll tell you what it is.
My Entire Team Sucks
Clearly the whole M-E-T-S thing is shaking up the players subconsciously. So much so, that its safe to say the Mets will never win until they either change their name or ship out this pansy of a player core they got. Some of you might point out the 86 Mets, and claim that if they could do it so can these current Mets. No. The 86 Mets were so bad ass that they transcended the curse of the M-E-T-S. In fact, if anyone even tried passing that M-E-T-S crap on a member of the 86 Mets, its safe to say their shit would be promptly ruined. Now as we all know the 08 Mets are a bunch of Pansy's. The only solution for them is to have the teams name changed until they get some tough players. I even have a few suggestions.
#1. The Animal Abusers- This ones particularly good because it would scare the lights out of the Cubs, Cardinals, Marlins, Blue Jays, Orioles, etc. I mean seriously, if you were a mere baby Cub going up against the ANIMAL ABUSERS wouldn't you forfeit the game? Yeah you would.
#2. The Champs- If you're already the champs, everyone else will bow down.
#3. Armageddon- You're sitting their at your kitchen table, having your morning cup of coffee. You open the news paper, and notice that Armageddon is coming to town to play your home team. I don't know about you, but I'd run for my life.
Quite frankly, I don't see how anyone can call a team with those names "psychologically fragile". So dear Mets, please change your name. Ridiculous you say?
So is collapsing two years in a row.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Home Court Advantage
I've been playing tennis at the local tennis courts for about two months now. With my usual two trips a week to the courts, I've come to realize something. The people there are always the same people. Always. Its kind of creepy. Are these people unemployed? Did they lose their families somehow and have nothing but the Alley Pond tennis courts to pass the time? I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that they're all crazy. All of them. In their own special crazy ways of course. I think there is a possibility that all of their generic tennis personalities can be found in other courts, so I've decided to categorize them, along with advise on how to deal with said crazies.
#1. The old guy who takes recreational tennis too seriously: You know who I'm talking about. He has wrist bands on, a head band on, he yells at the top of his lungs after every serve and even worse he demands instant replays after ever close call. Scratch that. He demands instant replay on EVERY call. Even if the ball is out by a good three feet he'll claim that it "HIT THE DAMN LINE! STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE SCORE, SCREW YOU MAN!"
How to deal with him: Simple, don't play him. Let him stand their serving all of his balls over the net in complete isolation. No game at all is better than a game with this guy.
#2. The critic: This guy never actually plays, he just watches everyone. He'll sit their, watching your game, and make annoying remarks like "you call that a serve?" "this guys backhand is terrible" "MY GRANDMA HUSTLES HARDER THAN YOU".
How to deal with him: Challenge him to a game. This usually exposes him as the shitty player he truly is, which breaks his super inflated ego into a million pieces. This is a good thing, as once he loses his ego the mind controlling critic-leech exits his body and he will once again be a normal human.
#3. The would-be tennis superstar and his brother: Man, these guys are annoying as hell. They hog the court for hours, HOURS. Older brother throws balls at the younger would-be star, and he hits them back. Older brother passes younger brother advice, and plays him in friendly matches to prepare him for his inevitable clash with Roger Federer. Yeah Right.
How to deal with them: Tell em' to get the hell off the court after an hour. And if they don't, just play on the court pretending they're not their until they get frustrated and leave. Trust me, it works.
#4. The guy who always returns your tennis ball: This is a really odd one. As soon as your tennis ball rolls into his court he'll return it to you immediately. Even if hes in a tight match with bragging rights on the line vs his friend, instead of returning the serve he'll pick your ball up when he noticed it rolled over. He won't just go out of his way to get your ball back to you asap, he'll go REALLY FAR out of his way.
How to deal with him: Just say thanks. This tennis court angel probably has a secret demonic side that comes out after tennis, and this is how he balances it out. You know, murderer by night, friendly tennis player by day.
#5. The fat guy who never wears a shirt: Man, I wish this guy would just wear a shirt. Seeing him flopping around trying to return his wife's hits is pretty disturbing. He also seems to have a temper problem. Constantly slamming his racket against the floor when he gets owned by his wife. Perhaps he rips his shirt off in fury before I arrive to the courts. Or maybe he ate his shirt. Who knows.
How to deal with him: Just don't play near him.
#6. The guys who always remind you that tennis is not their best sport: You'll find me and most of my friends in this one. As we play our matches along side "would be pros" and people who take it too seriously, we tend to find ourselves laughing at our skill, or lack thereof. Of course we always make up for our constant double faults and our complete miss-swings with a simple "come see us at basketball" remark. Seriously. No one at the tennis courts can beat us at basketball. And that's not just because they're all old and crusty at the tennis courts.
How to deal with them: Play them at basketball, or don't judge. It ain't cool man.
I wonder if that's how they all feel.
#1. The old guy who takes recreational tennis too seriously: You know who I'm talking about. He has wrist bands on, a head band on, he yells at the top of his lungs after every serve and even worse he demands instant replays after ever close call. Scratch that. He demands instant replay on EVERY call. Even if the ball is out by a good three feet he'll claim that it "HIT THE DAMN LINE! STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE SCORE, SCREW YOU MAN!"
How to deal with him: Simple, don't play him. Let him stand their serving all of his balls over the net in complete isolation. No game at all is better than a game with this guy.
#2. The critic: This guy never actually plays, he just watches everyone. He'll sit their, watching your game, and make annoying remarks like "you call that a serve?" "this guys backhand is terrible" "MY GRANDMA HUSTLES HARDER THAN YOU".
How to deal with him: Challenge him to a game. This usually exposes him as the shitty player he truly is, which breaks his super inflated ego into a million pieces. This is a good thing, as once he loses his ego the mind controlling critic-leech exits his body and he will once again be a normal human.
#3. The would-be tennis superstar and his brother: Man, these guys are annoying as hell. They hog the court for hours, HOURS. Older brother throws balls at the younger would-be star, and he hits them back. Older brother passes younger brother advice, and plays him in friendly matches to prepare him for his inevitable clash with Roger Federer. Yeah Right.
How to deal with them: Tell em' to get the hell off the court after an hour. And if they don't, just play on the court pretending they're not their until they get frustrated and leave. Trust me, it works.
#4. The guy who always returns your tennis ball: This is a really odd one. As soon as your tennis ball rolls into his court he'll return it to you immediately. Even if hes in a tight match with bragging rights on the line vs his friend, instead of returning the serve he'll pick your ball up when he noticed it rolled over. He won't just go out of his way to get your ball back to you asap, he'll go REALLY FAR out of his way.
How to deal with him: Just say thanks. This tennis court angel probably has a secret demonic side that comes out after tennis, and this is how he balances it out. You know, murderer by night, friendly tennis player by day.
#5. The fat guy who never wears a shirt: Man, I wish this guy would just wear a shirt. Seeing him flopping around trying to return his wife's hits is pretty disturbing. He also seems to have a temper problem. Constantly slamming his racket against the floor when he gets owned by his wife. Perhaps he rips his shirt off in fury before I arrive to the courts. Or maybe he ate his shirt. Who knows.
How to deal with him: Just don't play near him.
#6. The guys who always remind you that tennis is not their best sport: You'll find me and most of my friends in this one. As we play our matches along side "would be pros" and people who take it too seriously, we tend to find ourselves laughing at our skill, or lack thereof. Of course we always make up for our constant double faults and our complete miss-swings with a simple "come see us at basketball" remark. Seriously. No one at the tennis courts can beat us at basketball. And that's not just because they're all old and crusty at the tennis courts.
How to deal with them: Play them at basketball, or don't judge. It ain't cool man.
I wonder if that's how they all feel.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Let go of my Balls.
About a three weeks ago I bought a set of twenty tennis balls for, well, playing tennis. Oddly enough, after my first few games with the new balls I found that a couple were missing. I was heading home with less balls that i had set out with. I didn't give it much thought. After my second trip, I noticed that the total number was even less. And by the third trip I was down to half of what I started off with. Were my tennis balls suffering from a Tennis-ball specific strain of the plague? Were UFOs secretly abducting them while I was hitting double faults into the net? I had to find the answer. During my fourth trip I made sure to watch where every ball went, and to watch out for any funny business from the people playing next to me. I hit one ball over the fence, I figured I'd just pick it up later as it rolled by some tree's. To my surprise, a middle aged fat lady picked the ball up and walked into the forest, so said one of my friends. Wow was the only word that could describe my thoughts at that moment. To make matters worse, amongst the confusion of who's tennis balls are who's, the jackass playing on the court next to me must have decided to put 5 of ours in his basket. Amazingly I was down to four tennis balls after a little over a week. Four.
I sat there, wondering whether it was worth playing tennis in public courts anymore. These people all seem to have been struck with a strong case of the "cheap bastards who steal tennis balls". And then It hit me. Pink. Pink was the answer to all of my tennis ball related problems. You see, the cool "tennis players" all use pro styled "green" balls. From the cigarette smoking guy with the head band, to the two twelve year old idiots moaning like their favorite tennis stars after every swing (someone needs to punch them), they're all far too"manly" to go with the pink.
I went off to models and got myself a nice basket of Pink tennis balls. Showed up at the courts, and gave all those tennis ball stealing mother fuckers the "Lets see you steal my shit now, assholes" look. Since then, I've only lost three tennis balls. And those were do to post double-fault rage. So if you want to save yourself from all of those tennis-ball stealing zombies, just go with the pink.
I sat there, wondering whether it was worth playing tennis in public courts anymore. These people all seem to have been struck with a strong case of the "cheap bastards who steal tennis balls". And then It hit me. Pink. Pink was the answer to all of my tennis ball related problems. You see, the cool "tennis players" all use pro styled "green" balls. From the cigarette smoking guy with the head band, to the two twelve year old idiots moaning like their favorite tennis stars after every swing (someone needs to punch them), they're all far too"manly" to go with the pink.
I went off to models and got myself a nice basket of Pink tennis balls. Showed up at the courts, and gave all those tennis ball stealing mother fuckers the "Lets see you steal my shit now, assholes" look. Since then, I've only lost three tennis balls. And those were do to post double-fault rage. So if you want to save yourself from all of those tennis-ball stealing zombies, just go with the pink.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Rappers Love Ballers
Basketball references in Rap songs. We've all heard em'. Some of them are good, others confuse the hell out of you. I decided to go ahead and list a few of the basketball related lines I've heard, along with my interpretations for said lines.
Kanye West - Swagger Like Us
"Trying to get that Kobe number, one over Jordan"
Kobe: 24 Jordan: 23
Olympic numbers
Kobe: 10 Jordan: 9
Kayne West must be implying that he's aiming for being one up on the greatest. Although Kobe
may have one up on Jordans jersey number, Jordan pretty much has him beat in everything Basketball related. So does that mean Kayne is aiming to be a wanna-be #1? Or what? He lost me with that line.
Lil Wayne- Swagger Like Us
"And my jewelz blue and yellow
Type of shit that make em call you Carmello"
Apparently Lil Wayne has a thing for Aquamarine and Topaz. So much so that it must appear as if he's wearing a Nuggets jersey as he rocks them stones.
Three 6 Mafia - ridin spinners
"You see my kin folks, cars, and glisten
Ain't nothin' like Sprewells cause they spinnin'"
Mr. Crunchy Blacks cars AIN'T NOTHIN like Sprewell sneakers! They actually spin! Sprewells
don't spin. They strangle.
Lil Wayne- Dough is what I got
"And when it comes down to this recording
I must be Lebron James if he's Jordan
No, I want rings for my performance
I'm more Kobe Bryant of an artist
Same coach, same game, been starting
...Same triangle offense
I come through the lane like dargent
Refree niggaz is lame they call charging
I have no brain I'm retarded"
when it comes to recording Lil Wayne is Lebron (the next great thing) if he (who?) is Jordan (widely thought of as G.O.A.T) But then Lil Wayne realizes he wants rings for his performance. Kobe has three rings and is just as great as Lebron, so Wayne turns into Kobe. Wayne's been sticking with the same coaches doing the same triangle offense since the get go. Uh oh, lil Wayne got called for charging (???). The refs are lame, yo'. He has no brain, he's retarded. Yup, I have no clue whats going on here.
Trife- Biscuits
"I'm from a place where chunkheads and zombies dwell/And niggaz keep they heat blazin' like Bonzi Wells"
So basically the people from Trife's neighborhood keep their glocks hot . Similar to what Bonzi's style as a JailBlazer.
The Game- My Life
"Got a Chris Paul mind state, I’m never out of bounds."
The game is never out of bounds, just like Chris Paul. And Deron Williams. And Steve Nash. And Darko Milicic. Seriously, who the hell is ever out of bounds? You have to "have no brain and be retarded" to be constantly suffering from being out of bounds. Or maybe he means hes always pulling down rebounds? In which case I say he should have gone with a Dwight Howard state of mind. 5 rebounds per game just doesn't cut it man.
Kanye West - Swagger Like Us
"Trying to get that Kobe number, one over Jordan"
Kobe: 24 Jordan: 23
Olympic numbers
Kobe: 10 Jordan: 9
Kayne West must be implying that he's aiming for being one up on the greatest. Although Kobe
may have one up on Jordans jersey number, Jordan pretty much has him beat in everything Basketball related. So does that mean Kayne is aiming to be a wanna-be #1? Or what? He lost me with that line.
Lil Wayne- Swagger Like Us
"And my jewelz blue and yellow
Type of shit that make em call you Carmello"
Apparently Lil Wayne has a thing for Aquamarine and Topaz. So much so that it must appear as if he's wearing a Nuggets jersey as he rocks them stones.
Three 6 Mafia - ridin spinners
"You see my kin folks, cars, and glisten
Ain't nothin' like Sprewells cause they spinnin'"
Mr. Crunchy Blacks cars AIN'T NOTHIN like Sprewell sneakers! They actually spin! Sprewells
don't spin. They strangle.
Lil Wayne- Dough is what I got
"And when it comes down to this recording
I must be Lebron James if he's Jordan
No, I want rings for my performance
I'm more Kobe Bryant of an artist
Same coach, same game, been starting
...Same triangle offense
I come through the lane like dargent
Refree niggaz is lame they call charging
I have no brain I'm retarded"
when it comes to recording Lil Wayne is Lebron (the next great thing) if he (who?) is Jordan (widely thought of as G.O.A.T) But then Lil Wayne realizes he wants rings for his performance. Kobe has three rings and is just as great as Lebron, so Wayne turns into Kobe. Wayne's been sticking with the same coaches doing the same triangle offense since the get go. Uh oh, lil Wayne got called for charging (???). The refs are lame, yo'. He has no brain, he's retarded. Yup, I have no clue whats going on here.
Trife- Biscuits
"I'm from a place where chunkheads and zombies dwell/And niggaz keep they heat blazin' like Bonzi Wells"
So basically the people from Trife's neighborhood keep their glocks hot . Similar to what Bonzi's style as a JailBlazer.
The Game- My Life
"Got a Chris Paul mind state, I’m never out of bounds."
The game is never out of bounds, just like Chris Paul. And Deron Williams. And Steve Nash. And Darko Milicic. Seriously, who the hell is ever out of bounds? You have to "have no brain and be retarded" to be constantly suffering from being out of bounds. Or maybe he means hes always pulling down rebounds? In which case I say he should have gone with a Dwight Howard state of mind. 5 rebounds per game just doesn't cut it man.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Top 3 Disapointing moments for Superstar Athletes 07/08
To be a Superstar athlete is to be extremely talented, and most importantly, to win. Although, as 07/08 showed us, even Superstars fail to deliver when it matters most. Falling short of an ultimate achievement, flopping when it matters most, missing a shot at history, all of these can be found in the top three disappointing moments for superstar athletes 07/08.
#3. Kobe Bryant Game 4 2008 NBA Finals
Game 4, what a turning point in the 2008 NBA finals. Leading by 24 points through three quarters the Lakers were well on their way to evening up the series 2-2. And then the unbelievable happened. The Celtics went on a 21-3 run to end the third, and took the lead midway through the fourth. After being beaten by one of the largest comebacks in finals history, the Lakers went down 3-1. For the game Kobe scored 17 points on 6 for 19 shooting. For Kobe, this had to have been the biggest personal failure of the year. As team leader it was Kobe's responsibility to stop the bleeding, to help everyone gather their composure and finish off the game. Kobe failed to do so, and thus his chances for a fourth title pretty much came to an end that night.
For the series Kobe averaged only 25 ppg on 40% shooting to go along with 4 assist and 5 boards per game. In comparison, during the Western Conference playoffs Kobe averaged about 30 ppg on 50% shooting to go along with 6 assists and 6 rebounds per game. This was a terrible blow to Kobe Bryant as he was presented with the opportunity to be only the second player in NBA history to achieve: The Mvp award, First All-NBA team , NBA All-Defensive First Team, Finals Mvp x (who else would have got it? PAU GASOL?), Finals Champion x and Olympic gold medal all in one year. Even worse, it led to Shaq mocking Kobe in a freestyle. Now that had to have burned.
#2. Roger Federer Wimbledon 2008
For five years straight years Roger Federer walked away from Wimbledon as the champion. In 2008 he got his chance to break Borgs record for most consecutive wins at Wimbledon in the modern era. After an epic match against Nadal, Federers reign had come to an end. His failed to win #6, he handed his arch rival his first victory at Wimbledon, and his 65 match winning streak on grass was snapped. Worst of all the aura of invincibility that surrounded Federer was broken. When Federer loses to James Blake, as he did in the Olympics, you know somethings wrong. Although Federer might never get a shot at breaking Borgs record again, he’s still got a pretty legit shot at reclaiming #1. He’s only 27 and far from washed up. Its not too far fetched to imagine him going back to his dominating ways in 2009.
#1. Tom Brady 07/08 Super Bowl
Plaxico Burress predicted a final score of 23-17. Tom Brady laughed. Tom Brady sarcastically asked if Plaxico was going to be playing defense. Why shouldn't he have? After going 18-0, with the most deadly offense in the game, he was one win away from sweeping both the season and the playoffs. Unfortunately for Brady the New York Giants prevented that from happening. In what happened to be one of the biggest upsets in sports history, the Giants prevailed 17-14. First team to go 19-0? Your quest for redemption will begin in a few weeks, Tom.
#3. Kobe Bryant Game 4 2008 NBA Finals
Game 4, what a turning point in the 2008 NBA finals. Leading by 24 points through three quarters the Lakers were well on their way to evening up the series 2-2. And then the unbelievable happened. The Celtics went on a 21-3 run to end the third, and took the lead midway through the fourth. After being beaten by one of the largest comebacks in finals history, the Lakers went down 3-1. For the game Kobe scored 17 points on 6 for 19 shooting. For Kobe, this had to have been the biggest personal failure of the year. As team leader it was Kobe's responsibility to stop the bleeding, to help everyone gather their composure and finish off the game. Kobe failed to do so, and thus his chances for a fourth title pretty much came to an end that night.
For the series Kobe averaged only 25 ppg on 40% shooting to go along with 4 assist and 5 boards per game. In comparison, during the Western Conference playoffs Kobe averaged about 30 ppg on 50% shooting to go along with 6 assists and 6 rebounds per game. This was a terrible blow to Kobe Bryant as he was presented with the opportunity to be only the second player in NBA history to achieve: The Mvp award, First All-NBA team , NBA All-Defensive First Team, Finals Mvp x (who else would have got it? PAU GASOL?), Finals Champion x and Olympic gold medal all in one year. Even worse, it led to Shaq mocking Kobe in a freestyle. Now that had to have burned.
#2. Roger Federer Wimbledon 2008
For five years straight years Roger Federer walked away from Wimbledon as the champion. In 2008 he got his chance to break Borgs record for most consecutive wins at Wimbledon in the modern era. After an epic match against Nadal, Federers reign had come to an end. His failed to win #6, he handed his arch rival his first victory at Wimbledon, and his 65 match winning streak on grass was snapped. Worst of all the aura of invincibility that surrounded Federer was broken. When Federer loses to James Blake, as he did in the Olympics, you know somethings wrong. Although Federer might never get a shot at breaking Borgs record again, he’s still got a pretty legit shot at reclaiming #1. He’s only 27 and far from washed up. Its not too far fetched to imagine him going back to his dominating ways in 2009.
#1. Tom Brady 07/08 Super Bowl
Plaxico Burress predicted a final score of 23-17. Tom Brady laughed. Tom Brady sarcastically asked if Plaxico was going to be playing defense. Why shouldn't he have? After going 18-0, with the most deadly offense in the game, he was one win away from sweeping both the season and the playoffs. Unfortunately for Brady the New York Giants prevented that from happening. In what happened to be one of the biggest upsets in sports history, the Giants prevailed 17-14. First team to go 19-0? Your quest for redemption will begin in a few weeks, Tom.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Stupid things people have said to me 2008 Part 2
Today I got up at 8:50 am. Boarded the plane at 4 pm and took off to Alaska at 5;30 Pm.
-> Currently 7 PM in New York.
The worst part about writing on an Airplane: People can’t keep their eyes to themselves. That’s right fat guy next to me, I’m talking about you.
As if being stuffed into a shitty American Airlines 757 wasn’t shitty enough, the geniuses decided to play random CBS sitcoms on the mini TV screens. Great thinking guys!
So anyway, Onto part two of “Stupid things people have said to me 2008”
#1. “Don’t blame Isiah for the Knicks sucking, Blame the players. Isiah doesn’t take it to the courts”. - Security guard at work.
Oh yeah thanks for reminding me bro, I almost forgot that it’s the players who put the ball in the hoop and not the (now former) gm and coach Mr. Isiah. I mean, it would be silly to blame Isiah for the crap fest that was the Knicks since he took over. Its not like he picked the personnel, coached the team, made major trades and played a vital role in decided the route the team would take. Oh wait a minute, HE TOOK PART IN ALL OF THAT. Isiah’s first genius move was bringing Stephon Marbury. If Isiah took the time to look at what happened to teams who got rid of Marbury and what happened to teams that got marbury we possibly could have avoided all the crap that came along with him. For example, as soon as the Wolves traded him to the Nets, the Wolves improved while the Nets continued to suck. When the nets traded him to the Suns, the Nets ended up going to the finals twice while the Suns could barely make the playoffs. When the suns traded him to the Knicks, the suns got a future two time MVP and made one of the biggest single season turn arounds in nba history. At the same time the Knicks, well you know, became a laughing stock. So in a way by getting Marbury the Knicks fate was sealed from the get go. It didn’t help that he brought in notable failures such as Eddy Curry, Zack Jail Blazer Randolph, and Jamal Brickfard. Oh and don’t get me started about his insane coaching methods, he didn’t seem like he knew what he was doing. In the end its safe to say Isiah is a perfect target to blame, besides his constant trips out of reality showed us how out of it this man really was.
Uh oh we’re going through some TURBULANCE. Did you hear that fat guy? Put the chips away and put on your seat belt.
-> Its Currently 9 Pm In New York, should reach Seattle in 2 hours or so.
#2. “Kobe Bryant is just a lucky Tracy Mcgrady, there’s nothing special about him” - Dumbass At Recreational Basketball league
The amazing thing about Kobe Bryant is that for the most part its either love him or hate him. Rarely are people able to fall in between. Sure the man may have an arrogance problem, and his image was definitely damaged by his Colorado case/break up with Shaq. Even so the mans primary job is to be a basketball player, and there is no denying that he is one of the best players today. To say Kobe Bryant is just a luckier T-mac because Kobe has avoided many serious injuries and had shaq early in his career is to be in denial. Lets just compare a few accomplishments and the like between the two.
For the sake of the comparison I will exclude Kobe’s three championship rings with Shaq.
Kobe
1 Mvp Award
2 time scoring champ
2nd highest scoring game in the history of basketball (81 Points)
5 50 point+ games in a row
Reached NBA finals
10 time all-star selection
2 time all star MVP
10 time all nba team
8 time all defensive team
NBA slam dunk champion
T-Mac
2 time scoring champ
2nd longest winning steak in nba history (22)
7 time all star
7 time all nba team
Most improved award
By comparing major achievements in both players career, Kobe clearly edges out t-mac even without listing his three rings. And its not like T-Mac has been cursed to play on shitty teams. In fact it can be argued that T-MAC is just 2nd fiddle to Yao. Although they missed Yao last year, T-Mac failed to get past Dallas or Utah in the first round during years he had Yao’s help. Tracy Mcgrady is an amazing player, but he is not nearly as great as Kobe. Plus Kobe isn’t scared of New Orleans.
->Currently flying over a lot of mountains…and…more mountains. Experiencing a lot of turbulence, mainly from the walrus seated in front of me. I swear if this GOD DAMN walrus pushes his seat back into my laptop one more time, I’m going to punch him in his giant watermelon-shaped head. Anyway, onto number three.
3. “The Lakers making the finals was a fluke”-Same Guy as #2
Yes pal, the Lakers making It to the finals was as much of a fluke as the New England Patriots making it to the Super Bowl. The lakers only swept a 50 win team in the first round, followed by knocking out the Jazz in 6 and he defending champs in 5. The Lakers may have had their amazing offense destroyed by Celtic defense in the finals (Same can be said about the patriot offense against the giants defense), but that is no reason to call their journey to the finals a fluke.
-> Its currently 1 Am in New York, Getting ready to take off from Seattle to Anchorage Alaska.
Honorable Mention
“I’m going to bust your ass” - For the sake of anonymity lets call him “matt”
Matt felt that he would be able to beat me in a one on one game of basketball. I don’t know why he thought this, possibly because of the size advantage, or maybe he was on shrooms. Naturally the game ended with the winner being captain awesome at a score of 15-1. Silly matt.
-> Reached Alaska at 4;30 am.
-> Currently 7 PM in New York.
The worst part about writing on an Airplane: People can’t keep their eyes to themselves. That’s right fat guy next to me, I’m talking about you.
As if being stuffed into a shitty American Airlines 757 wasn’t shitty enough, the geniuses decided to play random CBS sitcoms on the mini TV screens. Great thinking guys!
So anyway, Onto part two of “Stupid things people have said to me 2008”
#1. “Don’t blame Isiah for the Knicks sucking, Blame the players. Isiah doesn’t take it to the courts”. - Security guard at work.
Oh yeah thanks for reminding me bro, I almost forgot that it’s the players who put the ball in the hoop and not the (now former) gm and coach Mr. Isiah. I mean, it would be silly to blame Isiah for the crap fest that was the Knicks since he took over. Its not like he picked the personnel, coached the team, made major trades and played a vital role in decided the route the team would take. Oh wait a minute, HE TOOK PART IN ALL OF THAT. Isiah’s first genius move was bringing Stephon Marbury. If Isiah took the time to look at what happened to teams who got rid of Marbury and what happened to teams that got marbury we possibly could have avoided all the crap that came along with him. For example, as soon as the Wolves traded him to the Nets, the Wolves improved while the Nets continued to suck. When the nets traded him to the Suns, the Nets ended up going to the finals twice while the Suns could barely make the playoffs. When the suns traded him to the Knicks, the suns got a future two time MVP and made one of the biggest single season turn arounds in nba history. At the same time the Knicks, well you know, became a laughing stock. So in a way by getting Marbury the Knicks fate was sealed from the get go. It didn’t help that he brought in notable failures such as Eddy Curry, Zack Jail Blazer Randolph, and Jamal Brickfard. Oh and don’t get me started about his insane coaching methods, he didn’t seem like he knew what he was doing. In the end its safe to say Isiah is a perfect target to blame, besides his constant trips out of reality showed us how out of it this man really was.
Uh oh we’re going through some TURBULANCE. Did you hear that fat guy? Put the chips away and put on your seat belt.
-> Its Currently 9 Pm In New York, should reach Seattle in 2 hours or so.
#2. “Kobe Bryant is just a lucky Tracy Mcgrady, there’s nothing special about him” - Dumbass At Recreational Basketball league
The amazing thing about Kobe Bryant is that for the most part its either love him or hate him. Rarely are people able to fall in between. Sure the man may have an arrogance problem, and his image was definitely damaged by his Colorado case/break up with Shaq. Even so the mans primary job is to be a basketball player, and there is no denying that he is one of the best players today. To say Kobe Bryant is just a luckier T-mac because Kobe has avoided many serious injuries and had shaq early in his career is to be in denial. Lets just compare a few accomplishments and the like between the two.
For the sake of the comparison I will exclude Kobe’s three championship rings with Shaq.
Kobe
1 Mvp Award
2 time scoring champ
2nd highest scoring game in the history of basketball (81 Points)
5 50 point+ games in a row
Reached NBA finals
10 time all-star selection
2 time all star MVP
10 time all nba team
8 time all defensive team
NBA slam dunk champion
T-Mac
2 time scoring champ
2nd longest winning steak in nba history (22)
7 time all star
7 time all nba team
Most improved award
By comparing major achievements in both players career, Kobe clearly edges out t-mac even without listing his three rings. And its not like T-Mac has been cursed to play on shitty teams. In fact it can be argued that T-MAC is just 2nd fiddle to Yao. Although they missed Yao last year, T-Mac failed to get past Dallas or Utah in the first round during years he had Yao’s help. Tracy Mcgrady is an amazing player, but he is not nearly as great as Kobe. Plus Kobe isn’t scared of New Orleans.
->Currently flying over a lot of mountains…and…more mountains. Experiencing a lot of turbulence, mainly from the walrus seated in front of me. I swear if this GOD DAMN walrus pushes his seat back into my laptop one more time, I’m going to punch him in his giant watermelon-shaped head. Anyway, onto number three.
3. “The Lakers making the finals was a fluke”-Same Guy as #2
Yes pal, the Lakers making It to the finals was as much of a fluke as the New England Patriots making it to the Super Bowl. The lakers only swept a 50 win team in the first round, followed by knocking out the Jazz in 6 and he defending champs in 5. The Lakers may have had their amazing offense destroyed by Celtic defense in the finals (Same can be said about the patriot offense against the giants defense), but that is no reason to call their journey to the finals a fluke.
-> Its currently 1 Am in New York, Getting ready to take off from Seattle to Anchorage Alaska.
Honorable Mention
“I’m going to bust your ass” - For the sake of anonymity lets call him “matt”
Matt felt that he would be able to beat me in a one on one game of basketball. I don’t know why he thought this, possibly because of the size advantage, or maybe he was on shrooms. Naturally the game ended with the winner being captain awesome at a score of 15-1. Silly matt.
-> Reached Alaska at 4;30 am.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Stupid things people have said to me 2008. Part One.
Paul Pierce recently claimed that he is "THE BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER IN THE WORLD".
He also claimed he is just confident and not conceited, then went on to list himself as one of his favorite players in the NBA. Well Mr Pierce, I have to disagree, the best player in the NBA is either Kobe Bryant or Lebron James. You see Mr Pierce last year you were a sad pathetic vagina-man who couldn't win shit without proper support in one hell of a weak eastern conference. Then suddenly you get Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, win a championship, and claim you're the greatest? Sorry bud, your team was the greatest for the 07/08 year but you're not greatest individual player.
(to everyone who wants to compare finals performances, it was only 6 games and Kobe went up against Bostons defense while pierce went up against Vladimir Radmanovic).
In light of Pierces stupid sentences I've decided to make a multi-post...post on the many stupid things people have said to me in the year 2008. Seeing as how people are always saying stupid things and the year isn't quite over I think its best to start now (I'll need the head start, lots of things to cover).
Each post will cover 3 stupid things people have said, and at the end of the year I will award someone with the honor of being the grand dumb ass who put together the most incoherent sentence of the year.
#1. "At least you hurt your knee doing something you like" -Barber
As I was getting my hair cut the barber asked me what I was doing with the rest of my day, and in true super hero fashion I delivered nothing but honesty by replying "I'm going to physical therapy for my knee, then I'm going to eat and probably sleep/save the world". So this prompted this modern day mother Theresa to stop, put on a shocked face and stare into the mirror catching mirror eye contact with me. I was touched, almost felt a sincere feeling of caring. So I was asked how I hurt my knee, "I played too much basketball, Didn't get enough rest" suddenly a warm smile formed on the stupids face and then BAM that genius sentence was laid upon my unsuspecting ears. The fact that I'm not going to be able to play basketball for two months, have to go to physical therapy and possibly get further treatment if Therapy doesn't work (chondromalacia of the patella) is definitely bearable and smile-worthy once I remember I hurt it by "DOING SOMETHING I LIKE". Did anyone run around saying it was great that Steve Irwin died "DOING WHAT HE LIKES TO DO"? Do you see me telling a woman at least her fiance's motorcycle accident death was due to something he loves? Which leads me to #2...
#2. "My fiance got into a very bad motorcycle accident yesterday, and it doesn't look like he's going to make it so I'm returning the vacation shorts I bought for him". - Dumb Old Hag
This one was a shocker. I could not believe this lady was standing in front of me weeping about how her fiance looks like he's ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE while shes returning a bunch of plaid shorts. I honestly felt no remorse for this lady as she stood their crying, the only thoughts that ran through my head "shouldn't she be with him if hes DYING? I bet this is just an act so I don't judge her for being cheap". Naturally as soon as I told her she was getting 70 bucks back, the tears stopped she promptly signed and exited the building. Interesting.
#3. "Are the girls in Alaska like Eskimos?" -Keeping Identity anonymous
So I was talking to my friend and told him I'm visiting Alaska for the rest of the summer which prompted him to spit out that genius. My grandparents live in Anchorage Alaska, and contrary to popular belief, its not a city comprised of igloos and Eskimos (who prefer to be called Inuits by the way, I'm just sayin). There are in fact white people, black people, Asian people, and others. Its pretty amazing how uneducated many people are when it comes to the largest state (territory wise) in America. Even my doc (middle aged guy, pretty knowledgeable) asked how many MILES there were in between houses. Its not like that folks, houses are side by side, deli's and malls are only 5-10 min drives away. People don't use Moose for transportation, and its not always -10 degrees.
Honorable Mention
"Make one about how much iller your friends (mostly ****) are than you" - For the sake of anonymity lets call him "Erik"
Ha ha, Good one pal.
He also claimed he is just confident and not conceited, then went on to list himself as one of his favorite players in the NBA. Well Mr Pierce, I have to disagree, the best player in the NBA is either Kobe Bryant or Lebron James. You see Mr Pierce last year you were a sad pathetic vagina-man who couldn't win shit without proper support in one hell of a weak eastern conference. Then suddenly you get Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, win a championship, and claim you're the greatest? Sorry bud, your team was the greatest for the 07/08 year but you're not greatest individual player.
(to everyone who wants to compare finals performances, it was only 6 games and Kobe went up against Bostons defense while pierce went up against Vladimir Radmanovic).
In light of Pierces stupid sentences I've decided to make a multi-post...post on the many stupid things people have said to me in the year 2008. Seeing as how people are always saying stupid things and the year isn't quite over I think its best to start now (I'll need the head start, lots of things to cover).
Each post will cover 3 stupid things people have said, and at the end of the year I will award someone with the honor of being the grand dumb ass who put together the most incoherent sentence of the year.
#1. "At least you hurt your knee doing something you like" -Barber
As I was getting my hair cut the barber asked me what I was doing with the rest of my day, and in true super hero fashion I delivered nothing but honesty by replying "I'm going to physical therapy for my knee, then I'm going to eat and probably sleep/save the world". So this prompted this modern day mother Theresa to stop, put on a shocked face and stare into the mirror catching mirror eye contact with me. I was touched, almost felt a sincere feeling of caring. So I was asked how I hurt my knee, "I played too much basketball, Didn't get enough rest" suddenly a warm smile formed on the stupids face and then BAM that genius sentence was laid upon my unsuspecting ears. The fact that I'm not going to be able to play basketball for two months, have to go to physical therapy and possibly get further treatment if Therapy doesn't work (chondromalacia of the patella) is definitely bearable and smile-worthy once I remember I hurt it by "DOING SOMETHING I LIKE". Did anyone run around saying it was great that Steve Irwin died "DOING WHAT HE LIKES TO DO"? Do you see me telling a woman at least her fiance's motorcycle accident death was due to something he loves? Which leads me to #2...
#2. "My fiance got into a very bad motorcycle accident yesterday, and it doesn't look like he's going to make it so I'm returning the vacation shorts I bought for him". - Dumb Old Hag
This one was a shocker. I could not believe this lady was standing in front of me weeping about how her fiance looks like he's ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE while shes returning a bunch of plaid shorts. I honestly felt no remorse for this lady as she stood their crying, the only thoughts that ran through my head "shouldn't she be with him if hes DYING? I bet this is just an act so I don't judge her for being cheap". Naturally as soon as I told her she was getting 70 bucks back, the tears stopped she promptly signed and exited the building. Interesting.
#3. "Are the girls in Alaska like Eskimos?" -Keeping Identity anonymous
So I was talking to my friend and told him I'm visiting Alaska for the rest of the summer which prompted him to spit out that genius. My grandparents live in Anchorage Alaska, and contrary to popular belief, its not a city comprised of igloos and Eskimos (who prefer to be called Inuits by the way, I'm just sayin). There are in fact white people, black people, Asian people, and others. Its pretty amazing how uneducated many people are when it comes to the largest state (territory wise) in America. Even my doc (middle aged guy, pretty knowledgeable) asked how many MILES there were in between houses. Its not like that folks, houses are side by side, deli's and malls are only 5-10 min drives away. People don't use Moose for transportation, and its not always -10 degrees.
Honorable Mention
"Make one about how much iller your friends (mostly ****) are than you" - For the sake of anonymity lets call him "Erik"
Ha ha, Good one pal.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Bears
I hate the Chicago Cubs. And by hate, I mean I seriously hate the Chicago Cubs. Rumor has it that Mark Cuban might end up being the new owner of the team. The Chicago Cubs + Mark Cuban= The epitome of what it is to be Evil and annoying. Funny thing is that my hatred for the Cubs doesn't come from the fact that they are dominating the national league, or that they have that asshole Alfonso Soriano. No, my hatred comes from the fact that they're the Chicago Cubs.
That's right. I hate bears.
Photo By: Wili_Hybrid
I can't stand bears, and honestly I don't understand why American culture is so obsessed with idolizing them. Doesn't anyone realize bears are MAN EATING MONSTERS!? I mean seriously, if you give your girlfriend a teddy bear (aka a "baby bear" with a Teddy Roosevelt flair) you're basically saying the following : "I am presenting you with a vicious killer in baby form, I hope you enjoy its cuddly cuteness while it lasts cause in due time it will gnaw your face off and ruin your shit". Why not go all out and give dolls of baby scorpains? snakes? or Sam Cassel? Yeah doesn't seem so sweet and romantic now, DOES IT ASSHOLES?
Next time the Chicago cubs roll into town, I'm calling animal control.
Edit: Just to clear something up, Polar bears rule and are an exception from this post. Click that link.
That's right. I hate bears.
Photo By: Wili_Hybrid
I can't stand bears, and honestly I don't understand why American culture is so obsessed with idolizing them. Doesn't anyone realize bears are MAN EATING MONSTERS!? I mean seriously, if you give your girlfriend a teddy bear (aka a "baby bear" with a Teddy Roosevelt flair) you're basically saying the following : "I am presenting you with a vicious killer in baby form, I hope you enjoy its cuddly cuteness while it lasts cause in due time it will gnaw your face off and ruin your shit". Why not go all out and give dolls of baby scorpains? snakes? or Sam Cassel? Yeah doesn't seem so sweet and romantic now, DOES IT ASSHOLES?
Next time the Chicago cubs roll into town, I'm calling animal control.
Edit: Just to clear something up, Polar bears rule and are an exception from this post. Click that link.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
I demand to be traded.
Manny Ramirez is officially a Los Angeles Dodger. After many years of Manny being Manny (Aka doing everything in his power to piss the Red Sox off and get out of Boston) the Red Sox finally got tired of his antics and decided to deal him. Here's what got me thinking though, After being asked what he thought of his time in Boston Manny replied:
“I feel like five thousand pounds are off my back.” Well I guess we know why Manny had to miss that Yankee game due to "knee soreness", he had one of these bad boys on his back.
“I feel like five thousand pounds are off my back.” Well I guess we know why Manny had to miss that Yankee game due to "knee soreness", he had one of these bad boys on his back.
Clearly Terry Francona prescribed Manny with Elephant training to help maintain (OR POSSIBLY IMPROVE?) his lackadaisical hustle towards first base. I definitely feel for Manny, it must have been tough winning two world series championships, earning about 20 million a year, and having to do that damn elephant training.
The morale of the Manny's struggle for freedom is the following:
It sucks being a multi millionaire athlete in a bad situation, and the only way to get out of said bad situations is to demand a trade. And by bad situation, I mean any of the following.
- Being on a losing team and feeling like your talents are being wasted. (Also known as Kevin Garnett)
- Being on a winning team and feeling like you're not getting enough credit. (Shawn Marion)
- Being an integral part of a world champion team, but feeling fed up/bored/other (Manny Rameriz)
- Realizing you can't win a championship by yourself(Kobe Bryant)
- Being a bad teammate, attention whore and egotistic asshole (Jeremy Shockey)
- No one knows or cares, but you ask to be traded anyway cause' you feel like its a bad situation. (Antoine Walker)
Thanks to said story I've issued my own trade demand. I demand to be traded into a job where I make millions, and have fun doing so.
Seriously, Manny might have to put up with Boston, Kobe might have had to put up with Kwame and Smush, and Shawn might have had to put up with being the third wheel to Amare and Nash but at least those guys get millions to play a SPORT (fun stuff, no?).
I've decided to conduct a scientific experiment (with facts and goggles) to find out who truly has it off worst when it comes to work, disgruntled athletes or Captain Awesome (me).
This experiment of science will consist of 2 issues, whoever scores the most total points has it off worst.
Issue #1: The people you deal with.
Captain awesome deals with many many types of people, such as.
- People who can't read: Seriously, While working for a Retail store Women would always enter the men's fitting room and put on a perplexed face when I told them that it was "the MEN'S fitting room". Apparently they missed out on the part where you have to have a penis to be a man. Either that or they can't read. Surprisingly (More like not surprisingly) my English teacher from high school turned out to be one of these people.
- People named Osama Bin Ladin: My Boss at 7-11 was apparently named OBL...but his name tag conveniently said "SAM". Mr "Sam" was a short man, looked like a dwarf and was from Egypt or something. This evil dictator, who I referred to as Saddam, gave me a 15 minute break for 12 hour shifts. Holy shit, I hated that guy.
- People who are afraid of Rain: Whenever it rains, you always find those assholes who stand in front of the exit door and look out at the pouring rain. Then a couple of minutes later another asshole joins him, and they begin to have a deep intellectual conversation along the lines of the following.
Dumbass A: "Rainin pretty hard out there"
Dumbass B: "Yeah, hopefully it clears up soon, I kinda want to go home."
Dumbass A: "I parked all the way down there, If I was to leave the safety of this department store, I would be soaked and exposed for the witch I truly am"
Dumbass B: "Oh you're a witch? I'm just an asshole who's too scared to leave the store and go on a 10 second run to my car, I'll just wait out the storm".
ARG. Man I hate those people, this segment of the experiment yields a 5/5.
Athletes
Deal with Fans: Fans can be pretty damn annoying. Although they are the primary source of income for athletes, they tend to be despised by many. For example, Ron Artest had a cup of beer thrown at him and it led to him beating the crap out of said beer throwers Friend. Ron Ron doesn't like fans. Although its safe to say a lot of fans don't like him (been asked to be traded a little too much?). Kobe got booed by his "hometown" Philly fans in the all star game of 2002 (And by his OWN crowd in the 07/08 season opener), boy that must have scarred Kobe deeply. Possibly enough to assault someone in a hotel room in Colorado sometime later in his career. Oh wait.
Deal with their bosses/peers: David Stern. Sam Cassel. Damn.
I have to admit, these guys have it rough in this aspect too. 5/5
Issue #2. Bank Accounts.
Captain Awesome
My bank account generally has enough to pay my tuition and afford moderately priced cars.
3/5
Athletes
Generally make 400k to 20 million a year.
0/5
Final scores
Captain Awesome: 8/10
Athletes: 5/10
As you can see, If anyone should be demanding trades its people like me. So what if you're on a losing team or working in a city/with people you can't stand? You're getting MILLIONS to play a sport (which you most likely love playing). I'm not saying I don't understand the drive and passion some people have for winning (Like KG). Passion for winning is an integral part of every successful athlete, but its not a pass for disrespecting your team and acting like the world revolves around you. If you're on a losing team or in a situation you don't like, suck it up and wait until your contract expires. Your services were obtained by a team to help them win, not to build your own "winning" legacy. Its not about KG winning a championship, its about the team KG is on winning a championship. When your getting paid the way these athletes get paid, its best to shut your mouth and do what you can for your current team.
Save the trade demands for people like me.
The morale of the Manny's struggle for freedom is the following:
It sucks being a multi millionaire athlete in a bad situation, and the only way to get out of said bad situations is to demand a trade. And by bad situation, I mean any of the following.
- Being on a losing team and feeling like your talents are being wasted. (Also known as Kevin Garnett)
- Being on a winning team and feeling like you're not getting enough credit. (Shawn Marion)
- Being an integral part of a world champion team, but feeling fed up/bored/other (Manny Rameriz)
- Realizing you can't win a championship by yourself(Kobe Bryant)
- Being a bad teammate, attention whore and egotistic asshole (Jeremy Shockey)
- No one knows or cares, but you ask to be traded anyway cause' you feel like its a bad situation. (Antoine Walker)
Thanks to said story I've issued my own trade demand. I demand to be traded into a job where I make millions, and have fun doing so.
Seriously, Manny might have to put up with Boston, Kobe might have had to put up with Kwame and Smush, and Shawn might have had to put up with being the third wheel to Amare and Nash but at least those guys get millions to play a SPORT (fun stuff, no?).
I've decided to conduct a scientific experiment (with facts and goggles) to find out who truly has it off worst when it comes to work, disgruntled athletes or Captain Awesome (me).
This experiment of science will consist of 2 issues, whoever scores the most total points has it off worst.
Issue #1: The people you deal with.
Captain awesome deals with many many types of people, such as.
- People who can't read: Seriously, While working for a Retail store Women would always enter the men's fitting room and put on a perplexed face when I told them that it was "the MEN'S fitting room". Apparently they missed out on the part where you have to have a penis to be a man. Either that or they can't read. Surprisingly (More like not surprisingly) my English teacher from high school turned out to be one of these people.
- People named Osama Bin Ladin: My Boss at 7-11 was apparently named OBL...but his name tag conveniently said "SAM". Mr "Sam" was a short man, looked like a dwarf and was from Egypt or something. This evil dictator, who I referred to as Saddam, gave me a 15 minute break for 12 hour shifts. Holy shit, I hated that guy.
- People who are afraid of Rain: Whenever it rains, you always find those assholes who stand in front of the exit door and look out at the pouring rain. Then a couple of minutes later another asshole joins him, and they begin to have a deep intellectual conversation along the lines of the following.
Dumbass A: "Rainin pretty hard out there"
Dumbass B: "Yeah, hopefully it clears up soon, I kinda want to go home."
Dumbass A: "I parked all the way down there, If I was to leave the safety of this department store, I would be soaked and exposed for the witch I truly am"
Dumbass B: "Oh you're a witch? I'm just an asshole who's too scared to leave the store and go on a 10 second run to my car, I'll just wait out the storm".
ARG. Man I hate those people, this segment of the experiment yields a 5/5.
Athletes
Deal with Fans: Fans can be pretty damn annoying. Although they are the primary source of income for athletes, they tend to be despised by many. For example, Ron Artest had a cup of beer thrown at him and it led to him beating the crap out of said beer throwers Friend. Ron Ron doesn't like fans. Although its safe to say a lot of fans don't like him (been asked to be traded a little too much?). Kobe got booed by his "hometown" Philly fans in the all star game of 2002 (And by his OWN crowd in the 07/08 season opener), boy that must have scarred Kobe deeply. Possibly enough to assault someone in a hotel room in Colorado sometime later in his career. Oh wait.
Deal with their bosses/peers: David Stern. Sam Cassel. Damn.
I have to admit, these guys have it rough in this aspect too. 5/5
Issue #2. Bank Accounts.
Captain Awesome
My bank account generally has enough to pay my tuition and afford moderately priced cars.
3/5
Athletes
Generally make 400k to 20 million a year.
0/5
Final scores
Captain Awesome: 8/10
Athletes: 5/10
As you can see, If anyone should be demanding trades its people like me. So what if you're on a losing team or working in a city/with people you can't stand? You're getting MILLIONS to play a sport (which you most likely love playing). I'm not saying I don't understand the drive and passion some people have for winning (Like KG). Passion for winning is an integral part of every successful athlete, but its not a pass for disrespecting your team and acting like the world revolves around you. If you're on a losing team or in a situation you don't like, suck it up and wait until your contract expires. Your services were obtained by a team to help them win, not to build your own "winning" legacy. Its not about KG winning a championship, its about the team KG is on winning a championship. When your getting paid the way these athletes get paid, its best to shut your mouth and do what you can for your current team.
Save the trade demands for people like me.
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