Stupid things people have said to me 2008. Part One.

Paul Pierce recently claimed that he is "THE BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER IN THE WORLD".
He also claimed he is just confident and not conceited, then went on to list himself as one of his favorite players in the NBA. Well Mr Pierce, I have to disagree, the best player in the NBA is either Kobe Bryant or Lebron James. You see Mr Pierce last year you were a sad pathetic vagina-man who couldn't win shit without proper support in one hell of a weak eastern conference. Then suddenly you get Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, win a championship, and claim you're the greatest? Sorry bud, your team was the greatest for the 07/08 year but you're not greatest individual player.

(to everyone who wants to compare finals performances, it was only 6 games and Kobe went up against Bostons defense while pierce went up against Vladimir Radmanovic).


In light of Pierces stupid sentences I've decided to make a multi-post...post on the many stupid things people have said to me in the year 2008. Seeing as how people are always saying stupid things and the year isn't quite over I think its best to start now (I'll need the head start, lots of things to cover).

Each post will cover 3 stupid things people have said, and at the end of the year I will award someone with the honor of being the grand dumb ass who put together the most incoherent sentence of the year.

#1. "At least you hurt your knee doing something you like" -Barber

As I was getting my hair cut the barber asked me what I was doing with the rest of my day, and in true super hero fashion I delivered nothing but honesty by replying "I'm going to physical therapy for my knee, then I'm going to eat and probably sleep/save the world". So this prompted this modern day mother Theresa to stop, put on a shocked face and stare into the mirror catching mirror eye contact with me. I was touched, almost felt a sincere feeling of caring. So I was asked how I hurt my knee, "I played too much basketball, Didn't get enough rest" suddenly a warm smile formed on the stupids face and then BAM that genius sentence was laid upon my unsuspecting ears. The fact that I'm not going to be able to play basketball for two months, have to go to physical therapy and possibly get further treatment if Therapy doesn't work (chondromalacia of the patella) is definitely bearable and smile-worthy once I remember I hurt it by "DOING SOMETHING I LIKE". Did anyone run around saying it was great that Steve Irwin died "DOING WHAT HE LIKES TO DO"? Do you see me telling a woman at least her fiance's motorcycle accident death was due to something he loves? Which leads me to #2...


#2. "My fiance got into a very bad motorcycle accident yesterday, and it doesn't look like he's going to make it so I'm returning the vacation shorts I bought for him". - Dumb Old Hag

This one was a shocker. I could not believe this lady was standing in front of me weeping about how her fiance looks like he's ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE while shes returning a bunch of plaid shorts. I honestly felt no remorse for this lady as she stood their crying, the only thoughts that ran through my head "shouldn't she be with him if hes DYING? I bet this is just an act so I don't judge her for being cheap". Naturally as soon as I told her she was getting 70 bucks back, the tears stopped she promptly signed and exited the building. Interesting.

#3. "Are the girls in Alaska like Eskimos?" -Keeping Identity anonymous

So I was talking to my friend and told him I'm visiting Alaska for the rest of the summer which prompted him to spit out that genius. My grandparents live in Anchorage Alaska, and contrary to popular belief, its not a city comprised of igloos and Eskimos (who prefer to be called Inuits by the way, I'm just sayin). There are in fact white people, black people, Asian people, and others. Its pretty amazing how uneducated many people are when it comes to the largest state (territory wise) in America. Even my doc (middle aged guy, pretty knowledgeable) asked how many MILES there were in between houses. Its not like that folks, houses are side by side, deli's and malls are only 5-10 min drives away. People don't use Moose for transportation, and its not always -10 degrees.



Honorable Mention

"Make one about how much iller your friends (mostly ****) are than you" - For the sake of anonymity lets call him "Erik"

Ha ha, Good one pal.