Manny Ramirez is officially a Los Angeles Dodger. After many years of Manny being Manny (Aka doing everything in his power to piss the Red Sox off and get out of Boston) the Red Sox finally got tired of his antics and decided to deal him. Here's what got me thinking though, After being asked what he thought of his time in Boston Manny replied:
“I feel like five thousand pounds are off my back.” Well I guess we know why Manny had to miss that Yankee game due to "knee soreness", he had one of these bad boys on his back.
“I feel like five thousand pounds are off my back.” Well I guess we know why Manny had to miss that Yankee game due to "knee soreness", he had one of these bad boys on his back.
Clearly Terry Francona prescribed Manny with Elephant training to help maintain (OR POSSIBLY IMPROVE?) his lackadaisical hustle towards first base. I definitely feel for Manny, it must have been tough winning two world series championships, earning about 20 million a year, and having to do that damn elephant training.
The morale of the Manny's struggle for freedom is the following:
It sucks being a multi millionaire athlete in a bad situation, and the only way to get out of said bad situations is to demand a trade. And by bad situation, I mean any of the following.
- Being on a losing team and feeling like your talents are being wasted. (Also known as Kevin Garnett)
- Being on a winning team and feeling like you're not getting enough credit. (Shawn Marion)
- Being an integral part of a world champion team, but feeling fed up/bored/other (Manny Rameriz)
- Realizing you can't win a championship by yourself(Kobe Bryant)
- Being a bad teammate, attention whore and egotistic asshole (Jeremy Shockey)
- No one knows or cares, but you ask to be traded anyway cause' you feel like its a bad situation. (Antoine Walker)
Thanks to said story I've issued my own trade demand. I demand to be traded into a job where I make millions, and have fun doing so.
Seriously, Manny might have to put up with Boston, Kobe might have had to put up with Kwame and Smush, and Shawn might have had to put up with being the third wheel to Amare and Nash but at least those guys get millions to play a SPORT (fun stuff, no?).
I've decided to conduct a scientific experiment (with facts and goggles) to find out who truly has it off worst when it comes to work, disgruntled athletes or Captain Awesome (me).
This experiment of science will consist of 2 issues, whoever scores the most total points has it off worst.
Issue #1: The people you deal with.
Captain awesome deals with many many types of people, such as.
- People who can't read: Seriously, While working for a Retail store Women would always enter the men's fitting room and put on a perplexed face when I told them that it was "the MEN'S fitting room". Apparently they missed out on the part where you have to have a penis to be a man. Either that or they can't read. Surprisingly (More like not surprisingly) my English teacher from high school turned out to be one of these people.
- People named Osama Bin Ladin: My Boss at 7-11 was apparently named OBL...but his name tag conveniently said "SAM". Mr "Sam" was a short man, looked like a dwarf and was from Egypt or something. This evil dictator, who I referred to as Saddam, gave me a 15 minute break for 12 hour shifts. Holy shit, I hated that guy.
- People who are afraid of Rain: Whenever it rains, you always find those assholes who stand in front of the exit door and look out at the pouring rain. Then a couple of minutes later another asshole joins him, and they begin to have a deep intellectual conversation along the lines of the following.
Dumbass A: "Rainin pretty hard out there"
Dumbass B: "Yeah, hopefully it clears up soon, I kinda want to go home."
Dumbass A: "I parked all the way down there, If I was to leave the safety of this department store, I would be soaked and exposed for the witch I truly am"
Dumbass B: "Oh you're a witch? I'm just an asshole who's too scared to leave the store and go on a 10 second run to my car, I'll just wait out the storm".
ARG. Man I hate those people, this segment of the experiment yields a 5/5.
Athletes
Deal with Fans: Fans can be pretty damn annoying. Although they are the primary source of income for athletes, they tend to be despised by many. For example, Ron Artest had a cup of beer thrown at him and it led to him beating the crap out of said beer throwers Friend. Ron Ron doesn't like fans. Although its safe to say a lot of fans don't like him (been asked to be traded a little too much?). Kobe got booed by his "hometown" Philly fans in the all star game of 2002 (And by his OWN crowd in the 07/08 season opener), boy that must have scarred Kobe deeply. Possibly enough to assault someone in a hotel room in Colorado sometime later in his career. Oh wait.
Deal with their bosses/peers: David Stern. Sam Cassel. Damn.
I have to admit, these guys have it rough in this aspect too. 5/5
Issue #2. Bank Accounts.
Captain Awesome
My bank account generally has enough to pay my tuition and afford moderately priced cars.
3/5
Athletes
Generally make 400k to 20 million a year.
0/5
Final scores
Captain Awesome: 8/10
Athletes: 5/10
As you can see, If anyone should be demanding trades its people like me. So what if you're on a losing team or working in a city/with people you can't stand? You're getting MILLIONS to play a sport (which you most likely love playing). I'm not saying I don't understand the drive and passion some people have for winning (Like KG). Passion for winning is an integral part of every successful athlete, but its not a pass for disrespecting your team and acting like the world revolves around you. If you're on a losing team or in a situation you don't like, suck it up and wait until your contract expires. Your services were obtained by a team to help them win, not to build your own "winning" legacy. Its not about KG winning a championship, its about the team KG is on winning a championship. When your getting paid the way these athletes get paid, its best to shut your mouth and do what you can for your current team.
Save the trade demands for people like me.
The morale of the Manny's struggle for freedom is the following:
It sucks being a multi millionaire athlete in a bad situation, and the only way to get out of said bad situations is to demand a trade. And by bad situation, I mean any of the following.
- Being on a losing team and feeling like your talents are being wasted. (Also known as Kevin Garnett)
- Being on a winning team and feeling like you're not getting enough credit. (Shawn Marion)
- Being an integral part of a world champion team, but feeling fed up/bored/other (Manny Rameriz)
- Realizing you can't win a championship by yourself(Kobe Bryant)
- Being a bad teammate, attention whore and egotistic asshole (Jeremy Shockey)
- No one knows or cares, but you ask to be traded anyway cause' you feel like its a bad situation. (Antoine Walker)
Thanks to said story I've issued my own trade demand. I demand to be traded into a job where I make millions, and have fun doing so.
Seriously, Manny might have to put up with Boston, Kobe might have had to put up with Kwame and Smush, and Shawn might have had to put up with being the third wheel to Amare and Nash but at least those guys get millions to play a SPORT (fun stuff, no?).
I've decided to conduct a scientific experiment (with facts and goggles) to find out who truly has it off worst when it comes to work, disgruntled athletes or Captain Awesome (me).
This experiment of science will consist of 2 issues, whoever scores the most total points has it off worst.
Issue #1: The people you deal with.
Captain awesome deals with many many types of people, such as.
- People who can't read: Seriously, While working for a Retail store Women would always enter the men's fitting room and put on a perplexed face when I told them that it was "the MEN'S fitting room". Apparently they missed out on the part where you have to have a penis to be a man. Either that or they can't read. Surprisingly (More like not surprisingly) my English teacher from high school turned out to be one of these people.
- People named Osama Bin Ladin: My Boss at 7-11 was apparently named OBL...but his name tag conveniently said "SAM". Mr "Sam" was a short man, looked like a dwarf and was from Egypt or something. This evil dictator, who I referred to as Saddam, gave me a 15 minute break for 12 hour shifts. Holy shit, I hated that guy.
- People who are afraid of Rain: Whenever it rains, you always find those assholes who stand in front of the exit door and look out at the pouring rain. Then a couple of minutes later another asshole joins him, and they begin to have a deep intellectual conversation along the lines of the following.
Dumbass A: "Rainin pretty hard out there"
Dumbass B: "Yeah, hopefully it clears up soon, I kinda want to go home."
Dumbass A: "I parked all the way down there, If I was to leave the safety of this department store, I would be soaked and exposed for the witch I truly am"
Dumbass B: "Oh you're a witch? I'm just an asshole who's too scared to leave the store and go on a 10 second run to my car, I'll just wait out the storm".
ARG. Man I hate those people, this segment of the experiment yields a 5/5.
Athletes
Deal with Fans: Fans can be pretty damn annoying. Although they are the primary source of income for athletes, they tend to be despised by many. For example, Ron Artest had a cup of beer thrown at him and it led to him beating the crap out of said beer throwers Friend. Ron Ron doesn't like fans. Although its safe to say a lot of fans don't like him (been asked to be traded a little too much?). Kobe got booed by his "hometown" Philly fans in the all star game of 2002 (And by his OWN crowd in the 07/08 season opener), boy that must have scarred Kobe deeply. Possibly enough to assault someone in a hotel room in Colorado sometime later in his career. Oh wait.
Deal with their bosses/peers: David Stern. Sam Cassel. Damn.
I have to admit, these guys have it rough in this aspect too. 5/5
Issue #2. Bank Accounts.
Captain Awesome
My bank account generally has enough to pay my tuition and afford moderately priced cars.
3/5
Athletes
Generally make 400k to 20 million a year.
0/5
Final scores
Captain Awesome: 8/10
Athletes: 5/10
As you can see, If anyone should be demanding trades its people like me. So what if you're on a losing team or working in a city/with people you can't stand? You're getting MILLIONS to play a sport (which you most likely love playing). I'm not saying I don't understand the drive and passion some people have for winning (Like KG). Passion for winning is an integral part of every successful athlete, but its not a pass for disrespecting your team and acting like the world revolves around you. If you're on a losing team or in a situation you don't like, suck it up and wait until your contract expires. Your services were obtained by a team to help them win, not to build your own "winning" legacy. Its not about KG winning a championship, its about the team KG is on winning a championship. When your getting paid the way these athletes get paid, its best to shut your mouth and do what you can for your current team.
Save the trade demands for people like me.
2 comments:
I totally agree. Trading was meant to improve the competition and make it more entertaining not for players to make more money jumping from team to team. Players shouldn't have the right to demand to be traded any more than we have the right to demand a new job or a new family. Ok so maybe that's silly analogy cause it's just a game but it's called being part of a team. So what .....you don't like a couple things/ppl yet you make more money in a year than most ppl make in a lifetime, would it be so bad if you just took one for the team !!!
THIS IS SOME QUALITY SHIT RIGHT HERE GOOD JOB MAN
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